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How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?

I’m the person your mother warned you about.

I’m not as dumb as you look.
No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.
We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.
Never kick a man unless he’s down.
There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.
Work is the curse of the drinking class
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.
How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?
I wear the brains in the family.
There’s no future in time travel.
Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something.
Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon.
I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant
I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.
All men are idiots And I married their king.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
My Dog Can Lick Anyone.

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Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
There’s too much  blood in my alcohol system.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

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Chitika

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