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Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

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