Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled, “Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.”
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.